Little Red Warrior
by Jemascola
Summary: A different account of the Little Red Riding Hood story is told.
1. Chapter 1

**Little Red Warrior**

_**By Joe**_

**Summary:** A different account of the Little Red Riding Hood story is told.

**Author Notes:** I do not own _Little Red Riding Hood_, its characters (except for the weapon salesman), or any other copyrighted material.

**Chapter 1**

_Children have been told of the Little Red Riding Hood story. Little Red was made out to be a kind, sweet little girl who was terrorized by a vicious wolf. However, a recent discovery of a journal written by a local villager proves that many elements of the story are false. This story tells of the true events that occurred centuries ago._

Little Red Riding Hood, or Red as many called her, was a kind girl at heart. Nobody ever suspected that she would ever do anything malicious, even if she were threatened. But one event in her life proved otherwise.

One morning, Red's mother kindly asked Red to take a basket of goodies to her ailing grandmother. Red gladly accepted the quest, and she put on her red coat with a hood and ventured down the trail.

As she walked along, she saw a wolf walking in front of her. The wolf snapped its head and leapt toward Red. "Ah! No! Please leave me alone!" cried Red. The wolf was swift, and Red would have been killed if it weren't for the fact that her house were nearby. She shut herself inside and locked the door. She could hear the wolf scratching at her door.

"Red, what are you doing back so soon?" her mother asked.

"There's a wolf that chased me back home, and now, he's scratching at the door!" cried Red.

"Don't just stand there, do something to scare him off!" her mother said.

That's when Red's dark side dawned on her. "Oh…I'll do more than just scare it off…" she mumbled.

Red quietly slipped out the back door of the house and went to town. It was not a very big place, but it did have enough to serve the average person. Red looked up and down the streets, trying to find what she was looking for. It was no use, though. She just stumped into the nearby forest and sulked. That was when she heard a noise. At first, she thought it was the wolf, and she jumped.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Red was frightened. She thought that the wolf was nearby when she heard a funny noise. However, it turned out that it was only the squeaking of some cartwheels.

Red turned around and saw a boy in his late teens pulling a cart toward town. The boy had spiky hair, wore a red Ninja headband, and camouflage clothing. In Red's time, nobody wore such contemporary clothing. All clothing was conservative and dated compared to the boy's attire. He also had these strange metal pieces strapped around himself, and on his back, he had a long metal cylinder. He had black war paint under his eyes. He looked like a very bizarre character. His cart was full of all sorts of strange looking black and silver goods. Curious, Red approached the stranger. The stranger saw Red and stopped his cart.

"Excuse me, what is it that you've got in that cart?" Red asked.

"Well, before I tell you, I would like to say that I have been misplaced in time," the stranger said. Red raised her eyebrow. "I am from the 21st century," he explained. Red gasped. That was many centuries ahead of her time. "I'm a guerilla and a warmonger. I love to get involved in intense physical combat. I own many weapons that can really cause major destruction. Somehow, I went through some time portal which brought my weapons and me here. Right now, I have more than I need, so I am just taking the time to sell them to the nice folk here."

"Hey, there's some wolf that's trying to kill me," Red said. "I need a good weapon to kill him off."

"Hold on," the stranger said. "You never arm yourself with only one weapon. That's a terrible strategy. You need _several_ weapons to ensure that you are ready for intense physical combat!"

"I just want to shoot the bastard, not start a got damn war!" Red insisted.

"Okay, okay, sheesh!" the stranger said. "But still, just to be prepared, you'll need more than one weapon. Now, because you're a little girl and need some preparation, I'll give you some weapons and training for free."

"Great!" Red said. "Say, what's your name?"

"Back home, they call me Joe," the stranger said. Joe then gave Red several weapons to Red. "This is one you'll really like. It's an m60 machine gun. You can shoot several bullets at once. Oh, you'll need this long belt of shells," he said, wrapping the shells across Red's chest. Joe handed Red another gadget. It was small and looked like a green egg. "This is a grenade. Take the pin out of this sucker, throw it, and things blow up."

"Cool," Red grinned. She felt excited already.

Finally, Joe handed her a long, cylinder just like the one he had on his back. "Now this is a bazooka. It's meant for long-range shooting for rockets. This is one of my favorites." Red was excited and never felt better in her life. She almost wanted to become a warrior.

"Hey…can you make me look like a warrior?" Red asked.

"Sure," said Joe. He then gave her a Ninja headband, messed her hair up, and put war paint under her eyes. Red was now ready. "Now, you are inexperienced, so I will come with you to help you out." Red nodded.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Red led Joe back to her house, where the wolf was now banging his entire body against the door to open it. "Stand back," Joe said. He took out another weapon of his, an m16. He aimed it at the wolf and tried to shoot it. However, he misfired, and it only hit the house. The wolf shot an angry look at Joe and started to bolt toward them.

"Nice going, idiot," snapped Red.

"Give me a minute," Joe said, taking out his grenade. He then pulled the pin and tossed the grenade toward the wolf. However, it hit a tree instead, and the tree blew up. The remnants of the tree fell on Red's house and crashed into part of it. Red's mother rushed out. Fortunately, she was okay.

"Now you destroyed my house!" cried Red. "You're a terrible shot."

"Hold on, just let me try one more thing," he said, pulling out his bazooka. But it was too late. The wolf was already too close, and he started to rip Joe apart. "Ah! Red! Get your m60! Quick!"

"…And you call yourself an experienced combatant…" scoffed Red quietly. "More like a wannabe combatant." She then took out her m60 and pelted the wolf repeatedly in his butt. She was much better at aim than Joe was. Red did not once shoot Joe with a bullet. While the wolf collapsed on the ground, Joe took out his switchblade and stabbed the wolf hard in the chest. The wolf groaned, and Joe leapt up. The wolf was weakened, but it still fiercely moved toward Joe and Red. He would not give up. He growled loudly. He still had enough strength to take them out.

Joe was weakened quite severely from being scratched by the wolf. Red, however, could manage to fire another weapon. Joe collapsed on the ground. "Use the bazooka, Red. Trust me."

Red took her bazooka from her back and slowly went farther away from the wolf. When she was a decent distance away, she fired the bazooka at the wolf.

A loud explosion was heard, and blood shot everywhere. Bones also scattered all over the trail as well as internal organs. Joe groaned, afraid that he had been the one shot. However, when he looked up, he saw the remains of the wolf. He smiled. They had defeated the wolf! "Great job, Red," Joe heaved a sigh. "I deem you Little Red Warrior."

"I am Little Red Warrior!" Red declared loudly. She ran home happily to her mother.

"Oh Red, are you okay?" her mother asked.

"I'm just fine," Red said. "In fact, that guy over there said that I'm a warrior!"

Her mother shot an angry look at Joe. "Red, you are **not** a warrior. Now get rid of those stupid weapons and war paint. There is no reason why a little girl like you should be a warrior." Red dropped her weapons and trudged inside. Red's mother then got a rolling pin and hurried after Joe. He screamed in fright, and despite being in great pain, he jumped and ran for cover. Red's mother bopped him all over with her rolling pin. Joe tried to throw grenades at the woman and use his other weapons, but he was in such pain that he did not accurately aim. He ended up destroying the town along the trail. Finally, Red's mother gave Joe one final bonk on the head, and that knocked out Joe. She then returned to her war ravaged home to fix the house and care for Red and her grandmother. Everyone lived happily ever after…although Joe remained unconscious for quite some time. Also, he did eventually manage to get back to the future where he belonged.

**The End**


End file.
